Bunmi was a brilliant six-year-old daughter of Pastor Mark. Her school bus will usually drop her at the church office with daddy on weekdays since mum also went to work and her siblings were in boarding schools. Daddy was busy most times, so Bunmi was always with the Church Sexton, Mr Wale, who assisted with her homework after lunch. Bunmi also assisted him with the little cleaning and other janitorial chores that her small hands could do. While they worked, Mr Wale would teach Bunmi songs, tell her stories and play card games with her when he was free. Bunmi was always sure to be rewarded with biscuits or sweets. All these made the duo very fond of each other.
What no one knew was that during their work-play times, Mr Wale would always invite Bunmi closer to his side, tuck his hands through her pinafore and fondle with her genitals, till he was satisfied. Any attempt for Bunmi to raise her voice due to the pain she experienced elicited a wide-eyed stern look from Mr Wale indicating she must not speak. Bunmi saw him frown only at such times, so she always ‘cooperated’ so that his smiles could remain. This continued for a long time and Bunmi did not disclose it to anyone. Her non-disclosure was unexpected because she was generally known to be highly extroverted and very courageous; she later became shy, timid, and slow to approach tasks. Even as an adult, her self-esteem remained low and she saw herself as not being capable of doing many things that she had passion for. Breaking the silence at age 30, Bunmi revealed, “I couldn’t say it to anyone because I was afraid that he won’t be my friend anymore and the biscuits and sweets will cease.” Apart from that, Bunmi said she was not sure anyone would believe her, hence she stayed quiet!
Bunmi’s story is said to be true for 20-43% of girls and 10-30% of boys in Africa (and for 4-35% of boys and 7-68% of girls in Asia) according to the authors of The Prevalence of Child Maltreatment across the Globe: Review of a Series of Meta-Analyses. Such data abounds for different other continents of the world as well. Now, let’s call it what it is, Child Sexual Abuse (CSA). This is bad, to put it simply. A biblical case study of a similar incident is the actions of Amnon, the son of King David towards his sister, Tamar (2 Samuel 13). The account tells us of how Amnon deceitfully got his sister to make and serve him food at his house and, in spite of how much she refused him touching her inordinately, raped her! Amnon created an almost permanent wound in her heart. What a day!
Referring to all forms of sexual explorations and activities expressed towards a boy or girl before age 18, Child Sexual Abuse could be verbally, visually or physically expressed through words, kisses, sexual intercourse and several other touch and non-touch nuances. CSA could be perpetrated by teachers, strangers, domestic staff, clergy, parents, other family members and indeed anyone! Most of the time, the perpetrator is known to the abused, and that makes it a deep wound in which trust is dashed. CSA could occur anywhere including at home, in the school, in public places, and in religious centres such as the church. Just like the experience of Bunmi and Tamar, CSA leaves the abused with devastating consequences that could hinder them from optimising their God-given potentials — and that is the real issue for the African Church to reflect on.
How many Mr Wales and Bunmis do we have in our churches, homes, schools and communities today? How informed and equipped are African church leaders to respond to the serious menace of CSA? What policies do African churches have in place to address sexual abuse issues in their congregations (at preventive, disciplinary and restorative levels)? Does African Christianity uphold a theology or ideology that fights and speaks against CSA in the society? How much does the African culture of silence and reverential fear for elders aid and abate CSA? These are questions that beg deep reflection from the African church.
A careful look at the contemporary and biblical stories shared in this article presents the several laces that tie CSA together as a hard and complex knot, with implications for African Christianity. Jesus emphasized love and compassion as the bedrock of all relationships and human coexistence (Mark 12:31). He confronted injustice and misuse of power, headlong. He frowned at everything that was not His Father’s will and focused on providing hope, justice and healing for the downtrodden. The Bible condemns taking advantage of others (1 Thessalonians 4:6).
Sin, they say, thrives in secrecy. This is true for both the sexually abused and the perpetrator. The African church can change the narrative by not being silent about crucial social issues such as CSA. In other words, the stance of the church must not be in doubt whatsoever. The church in Africa must be seen at the vanguard of orientating, mobilising and empowering her people to prevent, protect, identify and report any traces of CSA accordingly. The African church must also be a haven of safety, protection and healing for the African child — churched or unchurched. If the foregoing is achieved, the Church in Africa will not only be bringing CSA to the barest minimum, she will also be fulfilling her mandate.